just a few days ago. mum pop me a question. "what are the plans i have for my future and what's my ambition? what i want to work as after i graduate from polytechnic."

my answer was simple. "nope, i dont have any plans for my future and i have no ambition. dreams? maybe have. but, nothing got to do with career. hehee. and as for what i want to work as after i graduate? that one also i dont know. but, if i'm already in the field of IT, surely i will also work in the same field, which is IT.right?Last thing that i will tell you is, i just go with the flow. if i will be working in IT field, i will follow that path. if there's any other paths, then perhaps i will go for the others too. but seriously, i dont have a picture of what my future would be like. i'm pretty easy going with this thing (: "

then she say, "that easy? you dont have any ambition? how are you going to lead life if that is the case?"

i replied. "how am i going to lead life? i'll lead life just like what i am doing now. if i have to be a student and go to school, then i'll go to school. if "something else", then i'll do the "something else". its like this actually. i'm tired of pinning high hopes on things that i'm not sure will become reality or not. and i'm beginning to hate having ambitions. what if it doesnt come true? i've learnt my lesson. and ambition is a no no for me. family, parents can be one factor. and family are easy to be convince, but what about other people out there? what if i dont have the chance or cannot be given the chance to realise my ambition? i dont want to be hurt again. and let the dreams go just like that. not ready for it. i guess, just allow me to take things on step at a time. perhaps things will change. but, right now, i'm happy with what i have now."

then again she say, " are you sure you will be happy this way? are you sure it will be okay by listening to others? i mean, this is your life after all. and what if something cocks up and you cant lead an easy life? with no ambition, nothing becomes reality you see. you need the drive."

so this is what i reaplied her. " happy? yeah, i am sure that i will be happy this way. my term of happy is simple. and i am very sure, life will be as fulfilling as ever, as other's life, even without an ambition. my concept is simple. as long as others around me is happy, i would be happy too. "they" are my priority. they are the ones who colours my life. the theory is simple. take for example, as a wife, a mother. of course you would give the best to make them happy and lead life comfortably, and when you've seen them happy, that is when you feel happy too (:
about the cock up thing, in my perspective, there is always ways for me to looks or earn money. moreover, money is not everything. i prefer to stay happy. i want to be me, and no one else. i just want to stay free and happy! get me? =) "
no matter how shagged you look, no matter how messy you are, no matter how extraordinary you can be, no matter how different you are from others, it can never be a bearier to how you want to be happy. and, it CAN NEVER STOP you from being HAPPY. NEVER! and DONT ever allow it! last but not least, this is your life. and you have the right to lead it just the way you want it. remember, what is life without being happy? if you prefer it to be just me,myself and i, then make it to be just you, and if you prefer it to be a whole big business and touch people's life, than do it that way. as long as you're happy. it is all in YOUR hands (((:
lots of love, ::isnani::
(picture credits to deviantart.com)